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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523925">Relic Conduct Care and Usage</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorProf/pseuds/DoctorProf'>DoctorProf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I do not like Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:47:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorProf/pseuds/DoctorProf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Realizing that handing dangerous weapons of mass destruction over to teenagers isn't the brightest idea, Byleth teaches a class specifically about their use. (This is mostly a way to get out my headcanons about how relics and their combat arts work)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seteth has had enough</p><p>He doesn't know what the Professor was thinking! Giving a gaggle of teenager's free reign over heroes relics! May as well start handing out knives to the orphans for Sothis' sake. Sure, that's essentially what they had done with Cyril but that's besides the point!</p><p>He found her at the training grounds, planting her knee firmly between Caspar's legs, causing him to double over in pain. Now standing over the collapsed bodies of Caspar and Ingrid, it was clear that, as usual, she hadn't gone easy on them.</p><p>"Professor? A moment of your time." He said in his most authoritative voice. </p><p>"I'm assuming this has something to do with Sylvain?" She said as she walked over, glancing at the Lance of Ruin in Seteth's hand. </p><p>"Yes indeed. I caught him in the act of using this to create gusts of wind that would knock the papers out of the hands of unsuspecting girls. Needless to say he then used the opportunity to 'come to their rescue' as he put it"</p><p>"HE WHAT?!" yelled Ingrid, somehow no longer winded and quite angry. "Of all the irresponsible- don't worry Professor I'll smack him into submission if I have to!" And with that, she was gone.</p><p>"While I don't agree with her method's, I concur with her sentiment" said Seteth. "Either teach your students proper conduct or I will confiscate all of their relics just like I did this one"</p><p>The Professor offered only a curt nod in response</p><p>Confident that he had gotten the message across, Seteth took his leave. The Professor stood there pondering for a few moments before exiting herself. She set off in search of Catherine. And maybe Linhardt too.</p><p>"ugh hellooo?" Realizing he was left to suffer in silence Caspar took a moment or three to get to his feet. Even he couldn't stop his face from turning crimson as he was forced to limp himself to the infirmary, occasionally stopping to massage his groin.</p><p>___________________________________________________</p><p>A week later and the very first class of Relic Conduct Care and Usage was in session. </p><p>Seeing as these were weapons of mass destruction being wielded by a group of teenagers, the class was held outside of the main Monestary in a clearing between it and the inner wall. Byleth, along with her TA's Catherine and Linhardt, was tasked with teaching Sylvain, Ingrid, Felix, Hilda, and Lorenz how to use their respective relics. "Alright let's get started" she said and they gathered around her to listen for instruction. By the time they all arrived, Linhardt was already in a deep slumber underneath a nearby tree.</p><p>Sylvain raised his hand weakly, evidently still recovering from his Ingrid-inflicted-injuries. "Uh, Teach? Should we really be swinging our shiny new toys at eachother without any armor?"</p><p>"You will only be swinging your <i>weapons</i> at empty air, trees, and training dummies" she said in her Stern Teacher Voice™</p><p>Felix perked up at her response "Very well. In that case I'll be taking my leave seeing as my relic is no weapon" he said with a smirk.</p><p>Meeting his cold gaze with one of her own Byleth responded "feel free to try and leave if you think you can escape". Taking her words to heart he piped down as his smile turned into it's usual frown. He had seen her tackle a fleeing Bernadetta on more than one occasion. </p><p>"You know Professor" started Lorenz "You really needn't worry about injury with me around. My magical abilities are more than refined enough to prevent serious injury" he said with a chuckle and flick of Thyrsus.</p><p>Hilda was quick to respond "Riiiight. That's why the Professor always gives your little pixie stick to Lysithea whenever we go out into battle". Lorenz was left flustered and small chuckles from the others followed soon after. </p><p>Her patience wearing thin, Catherine spoke up "all right all right that's quite enough of that. Let's get started with lesson 1: Relic Care"</p><p>And with that, Linhardt finally woke up</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Heroes Relics are sort of like living things" said Catherine as she brandished Thunderbrand, the relic leaving a visually pleasing trail of yellow, black, and crimson wherever she sliced.</p><p>Everyone stole nervous glances at the constantly twitching and shifting Lance of Ruin but said nothing</p><p>"You somehow manage to damage one, and it patches itself up. Not really sure how but..." Linhardt perked up at that, showing more enthusiasm than he had in weeks. "Ah yes but I <i>am</i> sure! Research suggests they take the energy from a crest bearers body to 'heal' themselves in manner of speaking. This can occur when wielded or just from simply being in their general vicinity"</p><p>Hilda was quick to drop Freikugel to the ground. "Ewwwww. So they're like, parasitic weapons?? I knew all that pulsating and twitching couldn't be natural"</p><p>Sylvain smirked. "Oh cmon now Hilda, don't sound so disgusted. Pulsating and twitching are perfectly natural bodily funct-" he was interrupted by Ingrid's elbow blow to his stomach. Clearly she didn't do any real damage but he exaggerated the pain regardless, leaning all of his weight on his lance while clutching his stomach.</p><p>"Not to worry" said Linhardt "Apparently the amount of energy they take from you is miniscule and would need around a month of your undivided attention to be fully recovered". Byleth was surprised he could get through all that without yawning. </p><p>Hilda looked nothing short of disgusted. "So you want us to, what, sleep with these things like they're teddy bears? And just how do you expect me to get my beauty sleep while huddled up against this razor sharp monster of an axe?"</p><p>"We all, as nobles, must make sacrifices for the greater good. This is no different. I, for one, will happily sleep with my relic whenever possible" said Lorenz with a finger in the air. " He apparently didn't notice Hilda or Catherine's eye roll. </p><p>"That's easy for you to say!" scolded Hilda "you could leave that stick of yours under your pillow and still get sound sleep. Freikugel is almost as tall as I am!"</p><p>Before Lorenz could start one of his many speeches about nobility and responsibility, Linhardt spoke up. "You won't need to do that, by the way. Sleeping with your relics I mean. Like I said, physical contact isn't needed. Plus, Umbral Steel can obviously expedite the process but goddess knows how much of that stuff we have left". </p><p>Felix rolled his eyes and let out a hefty sigh, clearly bored of all the talking. Byleth, using that as her signal to change gears, stepped forward. "Alright that's about all we have for Relic care so let's move on to relic usage" nobody seemed to mind that lesson 1 was only about 10 minutes long.</p><p>"Ingrid"</p><p>"Yes?" She said with a stutter, obviously caught offguard</p><p>"Come hold my sword"</p><p>Ingrid dropped her own lance and stepped forward, placing her hand on the hilt along with Byleth. </p><p>"Are you ready? It's pretty heavy and I'm about to let go"</p><p>"Absolutely" she responded, obviously unconvinced. She was a knight after all, who had wielded all sorts of swords for years. Surely it couldn't be so heavy that she- WOAH</p><p>
  <i>thud<i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Half a second after letting the sword go, Ingrid nearly dropped it as it seemed to gain 30 pounds out of nowhere.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"P-Professor! How do you swing this thing around like you do? I knew you were powerful but this is ridiculous". As Ingrid (extremely shakily) began heaving the blade off the ground, the others had similarly perplexed expressions. They were so cute when they didn't understand something. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Byleth placed her pointer finger on the hilt of the blade and it began to give off its usual glow. Just like that Ingrid was able to lift it off the ground as easily as any other sword.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"As you can see, your weapons are a lot heavier to others than they are to you. There are broadswords out there that weigh less than my sword here"</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Catherine spoke up. "In your hands, these relics can do incredible things. That's why you have to be careful when swinging them around the Monestary like they're any old weapons. A light nudge to you could mean a deep cut to anyone else. You need to know how best to use them."</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Felix narrowed his eyes at her then at Sylvain "We all know Sylvain is the fool you're talking about. No need to beat around the bush"</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Faster than anyone was prepared for, Catherine suddenly rushed Felix, Thunderbrand in hand. Felix could only raise his hands to cover his body as he tensed up in fear.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Thunderbrand had stopped an inch away from his all too vulnerable chest. Catherine couldn't help but smile. "And what kind of fool uses their limbs to block a blade attack when they have a perfectly fine shield strapped to their arm?"</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Chuckles once again rang out among the students as Catherine sheathed her sword once again</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"Fine fine. You've proven your point. I'll learn how to use my shield" Felix tried and failed to hide the irritation in his voice.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Byleth, satisfied that he had gotten the message, once again took charge. "All right then. Hilda pick up your axe and everybody join me and Linhardt by the training dummies". She either didn't notice or didn't care that Ingrid still had her sword, forcing the poor girl to practically drag it over to their destination.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>when everyone had gathered, Byleth gave a nod to Linhardt. He pulled out a book from who-knows-where and flipped through it with unusually wide eyes for a second before turning to Sylvain. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>"Do the words 'Ruined Sky' mean anything to you?"</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Character writing sure is hard huh. Trying to get all my theories out there while also making it at least *somewhat* Interesting to read was hard and I'm not even sure I succeeded. As always, I'm open to comments and criticism.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sylvain looked up to the sky. Then, after a moments pause, back down at Linhardt.</p><p>Up again. Down again.</p><p>Up again. Down again.</p><p>"Hwhat?" He said trying and failing not to laugh in Linhardt's face</p><p>After rolling his eyes around a dozen times Linhardt exhaled before he began speaking slowly and clearly, as if he were talking to a child. "Ruined Sky? The combat art your family has used for generations?"</p><p>Sylvain tried his damnedest to think back and remember, he really did, but all those years of "studying" his family history with girls back in Gautier territory seem to have dulled his memory. Both Ingrid and Linhardt nearly rolled their eyes out of their skulls. "Just last week you used a weaker version of it to prey on innocent girls? How is this not clicking?" his voice rising in volume.</p><p>Before Linhardt's confusion could turn into anger, Catherine intervened. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order? It'll take less than 10 seconds"</p><p>Pulling Thunderbrand from its sheath and narrowing her eyes on a training dummy about 10 meters away, Catherine entered a battle stance. "My combat art is known at Foudroyant Strike" she said as the faint glow emanating from Thunderbrand gradually engulfed her body as well.</p><p>Hilda wondered aloud "Huh? What's 'foodroyent' mea-" </p><p>
  <i>BOOM</i>
</p><p>Hilda dropped her axe and let out a tiny yelp as Catherine seemed to vanish into thin air. "W-where did she go!?" she said, voice cracking. Lorenz placed a hand on her shoulder "Hilda, calm yours-UGH". Startled by the sudden physical contact, Hilda shoved him with one arm. She forgot to regulate her strength (as she often did to keep up the "delicate flower" facade) and, as a result, sent him flying 10 feet into the dirt.</p><p>Before he could regain his composure Lorenz' noticed that Byleth's eyes were locked on something a short distance away. Apparently she was the only one among them who was able to follow Catherine's inhuman movement. "Slower than usual today..." she said to no one in particular. </p><p>"I hope that answered your question" yelled Catherine as she walked away from a freshly decapitated training dummy. "My Relic let's me move significantly faster for a split second. I hope I didn't frighten you kids but did you think they pulled 'Thunder Catherine' out of thin air?" She said with a laugh.</p><p>Felix, suddenly eager to learn and very interested in today's lesson, took a few strides towards Linhardt with a smile on his face. "That was impressive. Tell me, what combat art does this shield grant me?" </p><p>"You? Nothing. It's a shield, Felix. Yknow? For defense?"</p><p>Felix's expression immediately fell into a scowl "Fine". He walked over to Sylvain and grabbed him by the arm, leading him to the nearest training dummy. "Attack it. Go. Now. Quickly." He directed. "If I can't use that power on the battlefield you damn well better know how to instead" he said, jamming a finger into Sylvain's chest for emphasis.</p><p>"I'm <i>literally</i> touched" croaked Sylvain, placing a hand where Felix's finger once was. "If even you believe in me buddy, how could I fail?". All he got in response was Felix's middle finger. "By the way you can join me for lunch if you get it on the first try!" Yelled the Professor, a faint smile on her lips.</p><p>Now officially motivated, Sylvain turned to the dummy and took took a deep breath, thinking back to all the lovely ladies he had "met by chance" last week. Using his crest to transfer his own power into the lance, the wind around him picked up and began swirling around the tip, its extra blades fidgeting about even faster than usual.</p><p>Linhardt's eyes were as wide as the Professor had ever seen them.</p><p>A small tornado surrounding the tip of his lance, Sylvain plunged his lance into the training dummy with a yell. The air that accumulated around the tip released all at once, simultaneously destroying the training dummy and sending the unprepared Sylvain flying backwards.</p><p>Sylvain opened his eyes to the familiar stare of the Professor, apparently having caught him after his attack backfired. "Yknow Professor" he said with a wink "I always thought I'd be the one sweeping <i>you</i> off your feet".</p><p>After promptly dropping Sylvain onto the cold, hard ground she turned to the others, surveying them with those large, soul piercing eyes. "Who's next?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Can you tell I don't like Lorenz?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was the day.</p><p>An entire month had passed since their first class and today Seteth was to sit in on a demonstration of their progress. If he liked what he saw, the students got to keep their relics. Byleth would also get a bonus from all the extra work but she decided to keep that little detail to herself.</p><p>The small class of students were excited to show off what they had learned, even Felix! They had gone through almost a dozen boxes of vulneraries after weeks of near constant explosions, tornados, and misfired magic but their results were spectacular. Of course Byleth had to, on occasion, use the whip function of her own relic to redirect clumsy attack attempts from a distance to prevent any serious injury. The pure destructive power of the relics had caused their meeting place to become more like a giant crater than a field. Byleth promised Cyril she'd help fill it back in when this was all over.</p><p>No time worry about that however, not with Seteth making his way down the path, dragging a distraught Hilda by the arm.</p><p>"I TOLD you I sprained my ankle!" She said, hopping on one foot to emphasize her point. "That is where you are wrong" he said stopping in front of the Professor "I've had Shamir monitor you for the past month in preparation for this very day". Hilda, wide eyed, began to blush at that. "You haven't even brushed past anyone in the hallway's, much less sprained your ankle". Seteth pulled a clipboard from out of nowhere. "In fact. I'm so confident in your good health that I'd like to evaluate you first".</p><p>A chorus of poorly hidden chuckles followed as Hilda smiled and walked towards the field, her blush only deepening. Even Linhardt and Lorenz couldn't help but laugh at her predicament. After gingerly taking her axe from the Professor, Hilda was given her task. It was simple, use her combat art, Apocalyptic Flame, to attack the red training dummies while leaving the blue dummies unharmed. </p><p>Over the course of the school year Byleth had gotten to know Hilda quite well, and she could tell the difference between a smile she put on to save face and a sincere one. "Hilda" she started, placing a hand on her shoulder, "regardless of how well you do, nobody here will be dissappointed in you. Everyone, including Seteth, has seen you do amazing things. You've got nothing to prove". Finally flashing her a sincere smile, Hilda gave her a wink in response.</p><p>She then proceeded to pass her exam with flying colors.</p><p>Running up to the closest enemy dummy, Hilda swung her axe with practiced might, striking the ground in front of it rather than the dummy itself. Half a second later, energy erupted from her axe as an explosive burst of crest energy consumed her and any enemy dummy foolish enough to exist within her radius. The explosion could've been much, <i>much</i> larger but Hilda, who had years of experience in regulating her ridiculous strength, had no problem controlling the explosion to avoid her allied dummies.</p><p>Seteth merely hummed in approval and jotted something down on his clipboard before yelling "Next?"</p><p>The rest of the exams went similarly well.</p><p>Sylvain, using Ruined Sky, managed to blow back an entire group of dummies while maintaining his footing. Seteth couldn't help but worry he may have made a mistake letting him perfect such a technique when so many female students wore skirts.</p><p>Ingrid planted her lance into the ground and used Burning Quake to stop an enemy advance while simultaneously making sure her allied soldiers didn't topple over. </p><p>As Byleth, Linhardt, and Sylvian, hurled fire spells at Felix, he managed to go three full minutes without taking a hit. Using his shield to reflect a few of the projectiles back rather than simply blocking them.</p><p>And finally, Lorenz was able to strike distant, moving targets with near perfect accuracy. Changing the spell used on a dime based on instructions yelled to him by the Professor.</p><p>Once all was said and done Seteth graced them with a rare smile. "Well done, all of you" he said glancing in the Professor's direction. "You've clearly worked very hard. Luckily you won't need to use such terrifying power anytime soo-" </p><p>He was cut off by the sound of the sound of a horse galloping. They all turned to find none other than Jeralt, atop his personal steed. "Hey kid, we need you and your brats. Demonic Beasts have been spotted on Monestary grounds". As Seteth and Catherine started issuing commands to the shocked students, Byleth mounted her father's horse and rode off towards the battlefield.</p><p>"Don't worry dad" she said "Those 'brats' are more than ready"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't like writing ending those are hard</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading. As always any comments, suggestions, or criticism is very welcome as I'm still very new at this whole fan fiction thing.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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